I will start this off by saying that there is no real structure to this blog post, as I began writing it on a whim at about 12:32 am one night and it spiralled…yea, I tend to do that…Needless to say, this is a musing to my daughter, an attempt to let her know just how spectacular she is and just how much she is loved. I struggled writing this as it was full of tears and worries that I would miss the mark on my intentions. My wish is simply for her to read this one day and hopefully grasp just a segment of my adoration for her.
Here are my wishes for you, daughter:
Know that you ARE enough: Life will inundate you with many images, thoughts and comments from friends, family and foes alike. Trust your own voice. Trust yourself. You will be your own worst enemy, but you will also be the only person to truly know YOU. Embrace it, hone it and go through the world with a belief in yourself and your value. Don’t let the voices of the doubters get into your head, don’t let anyone tell you, you need to change who you are in order to get the job, fit in or look a certain way. No matter the label people will invariably put on you (Black, White, Mixed Raced, female…ect), know that you are YOU; Neveah Esmay Drew Worrall, you are unique and not like anyone else. That is what makes you so special. Don’t let others tell you who you are- they will have assumptions and preconceived notions, but you do not have to step/fit into a box for their comfort. You come from a LONG line of strong, independent women, nothing will stop you!
I could wish that you never have your heart broken, but I know that would be selfish and premature. I wish that youknow true, deep and meaningful love. I wish that you never let go of it and I wish that it teaches you about the world, but also about yourself. I wish for you true companionship, someone who LOVES you unconditionally for who you are. Someone who doesn’t ever ask you to change for them. And don’t ever change for anyone. Someone who loves you on your good days and who digs DEEP into their love for you on your bad days. I wish for you someone who makes you laugh, because your laugh is spectacular. I wish for you someone who shares your same values and who embraces the importance of family. I wish for you someone who takes care of their loved ones, that way I’ll be happy to know they will take care of you equally. I wish for you to know that love can really conquer it all. I wish for you passion, grand gestures, but equally little unnoticed displays of love. I wish for you trust and honesty, I wish for you unity and equality in your relationship and life. But mostly, i simply wish you love.
I wish for you to know that if someone ever hurt you, they hurt me, so the wrath they will endure will be that of a Mama Bear. My hands are already hovering over rolling up my sleeve to go ham. I want you to know that you have a SQUAD of people who love and care for you deeply, who would run to your rescue should you ever need it. Know that you are safe, and however I can- I will protect you, because at the end of the day…I would die for you and only you. Know that though you may have family far away, you don’t ever have to worry about whether you are cared for or loved. Know that it would hurt me to find out that someone has done you harm, but know that if you ever requested or needed it…imma be there.
I wish you life! Not to simply be alive, but to actually LIVE! Explore, visit places, take the unbeaten track! Get to know nature, the earth and its beauty! You come from such beautiful countries (Grenada, Canada, United Kingdom)- get to know them! Have fears, but do it anyways! Feel the rush and excitement of it all! Make memories; take opportunities given to you. I wish you no regrets…not just in the short term context, but in the long term as well. I wish you the courage to chase your dreams, whatever they may be! I wish you to climb rocks, fall and scrape your knees. Live it up, because after all…#yolo.
I wish you to make mistakes. Don’t regret the choices you’ve made, they will shape who you are to become. Don’t regret the falls, the lows, the mistakes, the faltering; find the lesson in it all and more importantly, keep going. It’s only through the mistakes that you can really learn about yourself. Always look for the lesson, it will be there, sometimes not as clear as others and sometimes you may need to work on yourself in order to see it.
Lastly, I have never known a love so strong and so deep or a love so natural and so easy. Your name spells heaven backwards, and although I didn’t chose it for that purpose, you are definitely been sent from heaven, just in time for me. You are so many things; funny, witty, compassionate and competitive. You are my proudest achievement and the light of my life. You are what I’ll never be. You have been through so much, some of which you may never know, but are so strong- you inspire me to be better. To do better. You brought me back to myself. Helped me find who the real me was. Allowed me to keep searching, to keep pushing through so that I can be better for myself, but also for you. You accept me for me and love me unconditionally. You will never fully know just how your birth into this world changed me forever. But it has. Simply put, I will never know a love like this, dear daughter.