The older I get, the more I realise that I am becoming more like my father,
Or at least what my memory reminds me of him,
Some things which devastated me in my youth,
I now see through clearer eyes,
Realizing that life isn’t as simple,
People are far more complex
Feelings are even more entangled
Living becomes even more emboldened

It pains me to think that I never gave him the opportunity,
To give clarity to why he was the way he was,
To why he was the very first person to actually break my heart,
Hurts to think that he will never know my daughter,
She will never have some of the memories I remember so fondly of him,

I’ve come to realise that I love like my father,
I give and invest all that I have,
But once I am hurt, I shut down,
I become cold and defensive

Like my father,
I have a story to tell,
I am complex and bubbling with emotion,
But, like my father-I keep it in…

July 2018-R1