What 34 Has Taught Me

Normally my birthday is filled with excitement, especially as it’s four days before Christmas, but this past year, I wasn’t particularly excited for it. Maybe it’s because I’d finally reached the mid-point of my 30’s and didn’t feel I had accomplished much in regards to that. Or maybe it’s because I finally have to tick the 35-50 box when it comes to filling out forms. Urgh. Either way, when I look back at the last year, what I know for sure is that I have learnt so so very much. About myself, about life and about who my squad is, but it has definitely been a year of growth.

Trust Your Gut: Intuition is a real thing, we get niggling feelings all the time and we often ignore it. What I’ve learned is to listen and to tune into your internal voice. I feel like it’s there to protect us, sometimes it can be full of fear and doubt, but you also know when you’re not happy or comfortable in a situation. Listen.

Be Brave: Life is short. Life is short. We hear it all the time, but do we LIVE it? Do we actively make the choice to be brave and to step out of our comfort zone? What I learnt this past year is that in order to live and get the life you want you have to be brave enough to go out and GET it. No one is going to go out, get it and live it for you! People may be hurt by your choices or decisions, but at the end of the day you have to live with you and lying to yourself will only work for so long, but it will also eat you alive. So be brave in your choices and as long as you’re no intentionally hurting someone then do you. I feel like I got and felt stuck in my life- I wanted to do so much, but didn’t feel confident enough to do it, I didn’t feel adequate enough to take the leap, until it started to affect my mood. Suppressing it wasn’t doing me any favours, so I spoke up and took the leap.

Be Honest: Seems obvious, but I mean to yourself. You know how you’re inherently feeling and they say to trust your gut, but along side trusting it; be honest with yourself about your feelings. Fighting and denying it will only cause you harm or distress later on. I have known my unhappiness for what seems like years, I would have positive days which would essentially make me forget, but the fact is…it was always there. Until I sat myself down and addressed my feelings of sadness, what was making me feel this way and how was I going to fix it? I couldn’t do that if I didn’t acknowledge that it was there in the 1st place.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.

N. R. Narayana Murthy

It’s Never Too Late: Be it 34 or 84, you’re never too late to begin something or to start ticking the things off your life’s list. We get so hung up on timelines and order, but life doesn’t happen like that and we have to be willing to take the opportunities laid out for us when they come! Staying in how you’re feeling because you’re unwilling or too scared of starting again shouldn’t be an option, because life can be bigger. I know it’s daunting, trust me when I say- I am right there. In the thick of all of it, feeling feelings I never thought I would, being scared, but doing it anyways. Because like they say, better late than never and you only have one life to live.

You Are Who You Are: People say it all the time, but how often do they really mean it? Don’t let people tell you all the things they don’t like about you, because you’ll start to feel like the problem is you. When in fact it’s really them or simply put- they’re just not your people. I realised sometime this year, that I spent a lot of time invested in how people thought about me, how I was coming across and trying to protect their feelings. Truth be told, I was failing miserably, I couldn’t be the “Rekeisha” they needed or wanted me to be, so you know what? I gave up and to be fair, I felt much better for doing it. So all in all, it’s not worth being someone for other people, do you for you!

Have you had a year where you’ve had a monumental shift in perspective? How did you cope and what did you learn? Share with us on InstagramTwitterFacebook or email.

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