Running

For a long time, all I did was run,
Avoid my feelings,
Mask the vulnerability and put on a brave face,
Show the face I thought they wanted to see,
Be strong, courageous and smile through the self-doubt,
I didn’t need anyone, I had myself,
No one could disappoint, if I didn’t let them get close enough to,
So, I kept running,
Running away from my fear,
Away from being my true self around people,
Running on empty, but still going,
Fraying at the seams, but still holding strong,
All the while lying to myself,
Then, all that running ran me into you,
Feelings washed over me like a cold shower,
Startled by how easy it was, how simple,
How quickly my layers peeled back without me realizing,
I had stopped running,
I never thought I would meet someone who would make me feel anchored,
Steady, secure,
Someone who says, tell me your worst, I’ll be here,
Someone who listens so intently and patiently- it frightens me,
Calms my storm,
Who pulls me out of my own head,
Pushing me to do my best,
Who makes me laugh my hardest,
Who loves me the purest,
Why would I ever run,
Unless it is into your arms?
April 2021- R1